Linda Monroe

Linda Monroe (played by Lauren Lopez) is a character in the Team Starkid's Hatchetfield Universe. Her first and thus far only appearance was in the musical Black Friday, where she was an antagonist working to bring about the birth of Wiggog Y’rath, aka Wiggly.

After Black Friday's release on YouTube, Linda very quickly gained sexywoman status within the Starkid fandom. Fans had simped for Lopez's other characters in the past, most notably Emma Perkins from The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals (also in the Hatchetfield Universe) and Zazzalil from Firebringer (fun fact: she's the character from the "I don't really wanna do the work today" Vine), but the levels of simping for Linda far surpassed anything they ever achieved. If Professor Hidgens is the face of Starkid sexymen, Linda Monroe is the face of Starkid sexywomen.

Basic Information
Linda Monroe is president of the Hatchetfield Boating Society. She's married to Dr Gerald Monroe of Inner-Beauty Rhinoplasty, and mother of four beautiful blond boys (although only two of them are her husband's). Her only son to have a confirmed name is River Monroe.

In the musical, she was waiting to buy four Wiggly dolls for her sons on Black Friday when Sherman Young attempted to buy them all and a riot started. This riot resulted in everyone being trapped in the mall, and Linda laments about how she's going to miss her hair appointment. Fellow sexyperson Wilbur Cross chooses her to be Wiggly's prophet, and approaches her to tell her it's her job be the Wiggly's prophet and to prepare for his birth. At first she's reluctant, but Cross convinces her by telling her building Wiggly's cult would help her achieve her one true wish; to be adored. Linda quickly gets to work forming the Cult of Wiggly. She claims she needs them to retrieve a Wiggly doll, ideally four of them, in order to be "a vessel for his essence", but really she just wants them for her kids. During her time as prophet she sets fire to the mall's Cinnabon as a sacrifice, greatly upsetting Gerald. All seems to be going well for Linda as she receives a Wiggly doll and she and the Cult build a portal just for when he comes, however Becky Barnes appears and shoots her. Her lawyer, affair and cult follower, Gary Goldstein, calls Gerald to tell him "we need to talk about the will," then he and the other cultists carry her body offstage.

Girlboss
Did she utilize girlpower when she lead a cult and attempted to bring a being that would destroy the world into our plane of existence? Many Black Friday fans say "yes"!

MILF
She was born in either 1982 or 1983 and is a mother of four.

Capitalist
Linda is very wealthy and looks down on people with less money than her.

Dominating
At the start of the musical, she uses money to get what she wants and makes fun of Becky for having an abusive husband. Later in the musical she asserts her power over others by getting the cult members to do her bidding.

Fuck The Joker
She's shipped with Becky surpisingly often, despite their mutual hatred of each other in canon.

Power
As the Prophet of Wiggly, she held power over the members of the Cult of Wiggly.

Knifemurder
She murders Frank Pricely, the manager of Toy Zone, with a box-cutter after he is unable to give her any Wiggly dolls. She also expresses intent to kill Hannah Foster, a 13 year old child.

Villain
She tried to bring an Eldritch God that would kill everyone into our plane of existence, and she did succeed building the portal which let Wiggly blow up Moscow and start World War III. During her song Adore Me, she describes what she's saying as "evil shit", showing that she is fully aware that she's not the good guy in this situation but she either doesn't care or she enjoys being evil.

Eye Imagery / Glowing Neon
In fanon, she is often depicted with glowing neon green eyes, as green is Wiggly's color as one of the five Lords in Black.

Eldritch
She is the leader of a cult that follows an eldritch being, Wiggog Y'rath or "Wiggly". Wiggly's official title is "The Lord in Black" (suggesting he may be he leader and/or eldest of his brothers, the Lords in Black), but he's also referred to as "The Lord of Despair" and "The Wiggly One".

White Hair
She has light blonde hair.

Well-Dressed / Long Cape
Linda cares deeply about her appearance and her outfit reflects this. Her outfit includes a black cape which hangs down to her legs.

Theme Song
Linda's main theme song is Adore Me, a song she sings about how she demands your love and worship too and if she doesn't get it she will end you. Other songs she features in throughout the musical are What Do You Say, Our Doors Are Open (as a backup singer/dancer), Feast or Famine, and Wiggle.

Quotable Catchphrase(s)
"Because you're not to step within a thousand feet of a Cinnabon, Gerald! ... No, I don't believe you just want to 'smell them'."

"I have four boys... four beautiful blond boys."

"I hope you don't get a Wiggly, I hope you fucking die!"

Corrupt Man: "I think I'll step in and save [Becky]!" Linda: "Hah! You don't have half of a chance, bitch."

Cross: "Do you see him? Do you see him? Do you see hi-" Linda: "YES, I FUCKING SEE HIM!"

"I dislike that word, Gerald, "cult". No, it's a new, exciting religion that I started."

Frank: "Please, let me go, for the love of God!" Linda: "I've met God. He had nothing nice to say about you."

"'Cause I will be adored."

Linda: "I will destroy everything, and then I will destroy everything! I guarantee I'll destroy everything in my path, unless I get what I- shit it's Gerald, hold on. Alright, keep doing, just don't say the 'shit' part! That wasn't it, don't say the shit part. Gerald?" Cult members: "I will destroy everything, and then I will destroy everything! I guarantee I'll destroy everything in my path, unless I get what I shit!" Linda: "No, no, guys, while I don't want you to think for yourselves, I want you to know what I mean when I say my evil shit, 'kay?"